One Month Today

So I've officially been in Sacramento a month today.  What are my thoughts about that? Hmm...

I had a thought in the back of my mind that I would actually need a month to get adjusted and settled in, while consciously I had all these expectations of me being immediately involved in the activities I wanted to pursue: biking, writing, art, dance, hiking, travel planning, life planning, etc - really hitting the ground running, so to speak.  I didn't want to get lazy or too comfortable, now that I no longer have to worry about rent or utilities.  I pictured myself being completely involved and busy, with all the new opportunities that come with moving to a new place.  But I had forgotten what I recently told a friend who had the same notions of embracing a new lifestyle with a new city: no matter where you go, you take yourself with you.

I'm not necessarily the type of person who 'hits the ground running'.  I move only after analyzing and reanalyzing the situation: "analysis paralysis" is something I'm quite familiar with.  And change is a challenge for me, I tend to fight it.  I have to re-stabilize after changes, especially one this huge.

I spent the first week redecorating and organizing my room, really throwing myself into it - I'd even bought a mini-sander and hole saw from Lowe's.  It was a fun and beautiful distraction.  Another week was spent identifying new 'needs' that prolonged the process.  When it was done, there was a dip in energy that didn't go unnoticed.  I spent the next week running meaningless errands and sleeping in.  All the while I alternately berated and forgave myself for not being quite ready to move forward.  I congratulated myself on the small moves I made toward progress: signing up for a writing group, networking with a friend whose contacts may help me get a job (yay!), finally finishing my latest self-help book (Finding Your Own North Star by Martha Peck - read it, it's great).  The pace at which I did these things I called 'organic,' taking action as my mood dictated, but I knew that I didn't have the same energy I felt in redesigning my room.  I've been trying to force myself to change up my night owl routine (half the day is gone by the time I'm up and ready to get out of the house); maybe by next week I will have kicked the habit of sleeping in.

I did do something I'm quite proud of: I drove out to Davis Sunday to attend a children's book reading by the author at the local independent bookstore, Avid Reader.  I listened to Sudipta Bardhan-Quallen read some of her latest books and picked her brain about her experience as a children's book writer.  I learned that it may be easier to be published as a writer/illustrator rather than as a writer alone, and I was inspired listening to this person who had found some success after changing her career path and pursuing something she loved.  In that moment, I regained some of the energy I'd felt drilling holes in the back of my childhood desk.

So I'll continue to try, and better yet, I'll stop counting the time I'm accumulating here and start accumulating the experiences that count.